Mysterious Impurities ~ Tazria

The wonderful thing about the Torah is that each portion comes around again and again, giving a person the chance to think more about what it means.  The bad news is that each portion comes around again and again, meaning a person has to write about it AGAIN.  Tazria Metzorah is not a pretty portion and I have written on it at least 3 times, I think 4.  I have tried to avoid the obvious as I cannot begin to compete with the incredible semantic "parsing" that is out there about this portion.  This portion deals with the "impurities" of childbirth and menstruation ~ an entire subject in itself; and rituals for purification.  It also deals with a leprosy-like affliction that appears mysteriously.  What I wrote about this last year had to do with the concept of evil speech as the genesis of the impurity.  It was written for a talk I gave to my Sisterhood and focused on gossip and backbiting.  In looking at this portion again, I am still intrigued by the way in which the mysterious impurity manifests itself.  It begins with the most impersonal of all ~ the outer walls of the home, moving to the clothing of the person and finally to the body of the person themselves.  What struck me this year was the idea that the afflicted person was being given opportunities to avoid the ultimate and most personal affliction of their body.  G-d gives the afflicted, apparently, several opportunities to avoid the final disgrace.  So if the affliction is due to some behavior, as many scholars see it, the evil speech for instance, then theoretically stopping the behavior will halt the spread of the affliction.  We humans are a stubborn bunch.  We clearly need more than one warning and often even the multiples are not enough.  We persist in thinking we are right and good no matter what the consequences.  We say what we say despite the hurt it may cause.  We fail to stop and reflect that some of our "afflictions", sadness, lonliness, isolation, fear, may be the result of our inability to open our minds and our hearts to the problems and perspectives of others.  In this way Tazria can be read as a metaphor.  The afflictions we cause ourselves are small at the onset, perhaps affecting our "outside" lives, our marginal and fleeting interactions with people we do not have lasting or substantial relations with.  Next are our friends and family, those we are close to, and our closed mindedness and stubborness may begin to damage our relationships with them.  They are the layer around us, much like the afflicted clothing.  Finally, we lose ourselves and our relationship with G-d.  The impurities in our minds, hearts and attitudes growing so great that we cannot find our way back to faith.  I have digressed, but that is what the study of Torah is all about.  Shabbat Shalom.

Sh'mini ~ True Humility?

In this week's Torah portion, Sh'mini, from the book of Leviticus, there are two obvious primary thematic ideas.  First there is the inauguration of the mishkan, the tabernacle of prayer, that G-d gives the people and the death of the two eldest sons of Aaron after bringing an offering to the altar of the sanctuary.  Then there are the laws of kasruth, the kosher dietary laws; which things are ok to eat and which are not, the pure and the impure.  There are a lot of writings on these two things, especially the kosher.  I did a lot of reading and I enjoyed many of the points of view I read but I couldn't find something that really hooked me to write about.  Until I read one comment which talked primarily about the statement in the portion that Aaron was afraid to come into the presence of G-d.  Now I should say that being Jews, even this simple sentence has given rise to a host of opinions.  Nevertheless, I plunged onward.  The next thing is that Moses says to Aaron to come near and "make your heart proud serving G-d".  Hopefully I haven't butchered the translation too badly.  There are many reasons that Aaron may have felt afraid, not altogether for no reason as his eldest sons did so and were killed.  Notwithstanding that tragedy, Moses tells Aaron to make his heart proud.  In our vernacular perhaps to "hold your head up".  I particularly like the idea of one commentator that it means to have "pride in your prayers".  There are two ideas embedded in that concept for me.  One is the idea of true humility which is not to make yourself  less or more but just what you are ~ as Moses says to Aaron, this is what you were selected for.  Two is the idea of standing up with pride for what you believe and what you are despite the efforts of others to demean it or take it.  What comes to mind for me in part is my son's reticence to wear anything that identifies him as a Jew.  This is painful for me because I want him to be proud of what he is.  He experienced a fair amount of prejudice through his school life, especially early on, and I think this made him afraid.  I continually hope to show him by example that it is not a bad thing to be "selected" for this.  It is humble to be exactly who you are, no more, no less.  To make yourself less or more is an affront to G-d I think if we are made in G-d's image that should be good enough for us.  The other issue was written about in one commentary in a way I won't forget, it was about understanding the value of what others would want to take from you.  This is where that writer weighed in on the kosher laws.  They are not just rules of obligation but rules that make us more connected to G-d.  In most prisons where Jews have been imprisoned throughout history it has been important to their captors to inflict non-kosher food on them.  If it is something otherw wish to deprive you of...it must have value.  For some reason it is a means of identifying us, separating us and therefore must be stripped from us.  I don't keep kosher and that's ok, but there is a place in this portion where the physical and spiritual collide and it is here I think.  All the "rules", the mitzvot, are ways of regulating society, behavior, relationships and finally formalizing our relationship with G-d.  Again there are many ways to think about them, another hundreds of commentaries and ideas, but this is mine for today.  True humility, living as you were selected to live, being who you are and living in a relationship with the G-d of your understanding, are  two central precepts of living a spiritual life.  Shabbat Shalom.

CHURCH REVIEWS??

I was listening to public radio in the car the other day when an essay came on about a new trend on the internet. When people who are church goers are moving from time to time or town to town they can look up the local churches on these web sites. Now these are not the web sites of the actual churches, these are "comment" web sites where anyone can leave a review. This is a weird concept, to say the least. It is weird on a lot of levels. My first and most visceral response to this is the idea that you would choose a house of worship by going on line. I mentioned this to an acquaintance who said that it might eliminate some and make the search easier. I even think that is weird. In some fundamental way, a house of worship is not just a spiritual home but also a family of a sort. To me, it is the sort of thing that you have to experience; first hand. Your immediate actual family you don't get to choose, the other families you create throughout your life, you do. How do you choose a family without meeting them, hugging them, laughing and crying with them? At least you might want to have a sense of them, a real sense, not a virtual sense. How do you find a spiritual home without praying in it, listening to its leaders, its clergy? But ok, let's assume you don't mind finding your spiritual house on the net. On the show I listened to (at least one side of the story) they talked about what a great service this could be, making transitions for folks moving, with an emphasis on military families. What credibility do these "reviews" have? Who are the reviewers? What if the writer is someone with a personal ax to grind against a particular clergy person, or institution? Or its lay leaders? What if the writer is a hater of a particular religion? And regularly spews hate on the local representatives of it? How do you choose a religious home, or a spiritual family based on the opinion of strangers? The show likens the choice to that of choosing a hairdresser, grocery, family doctor, mechanic, etc. While I am certainly not likely to denigrate the importance of the right hairdresser, I'm thinking that the choice of a religious institution might be slightly more important, especially if you are a parent (keeping in mind that your kids really don't care about your hair). If you are religious in the sense that you look to your house of worship to reinforce your core values and help you teach them to your kids; to create that "family" that acts as extended rold models for your kids, then its influence may extend beyond even that of the family doc in the long view of things. Do you really think it makes sense to allow anonymous (ok they might put their names) folks with their own agendas to drive this decision? Maybe you should choose your dentist on facebook.

Mamainsqueeze.wordpress.com

Please visit my new blog at mamainsqueeze.wordpress.com, subscribe if you like it!

The Great Part of the Seder!

Ok, first and foremost, for the first time in history.... nobody spilled anything purple on my grandmother's tablecloth! That is a passover miracle. We had a wonderful seder. It was a very mixed bag. The last few years my son has been somewhat disengaged from Temple life and not paying much mind to the Seder or any other ritual. This year it was clear to me that he understood the significance of the ritual in some new and more mature way.  This was evidenced by a subtle shift in attitude and behavior that mostly a mom would notice.  I can barely get him to put napkins on the table normally but on that afternoon he willing laid out two forks, two spoons and a knife along with two glasses and a linen napkin at every place.  As I was counting plates and trying to determine which way around to do things ~ have to put drops of plague wine on the plate, eat the charoset and maror with matzoh  but then need a plate for gefilte fish, salad and then main course.  Which do I wash and when.  My son says "mom... use the dessert plates, wash them after dinner".  Duh!  But the idea that he remembered and understood what had to happen was stunning to me.  He said "mom... let me sit by you so I can help clear and serve."  Who kidnapped my REAL son?  Another passover miracle.  I guess he is just growing up.  Another miracle?  Every year, because of timing issues, ritual issues, whatever, there is always one part of the dinner that really doesn't come out as I would like; I pride myself on my dinners, my food.  This year... everything was perfect (if I do say so myself).  Yet another passover miracle!  And my son was attentive to the story (mostly).  The greatest miracle of all.  No matter how disaffected he seems, no matter how much he hasn't found his own relationship with God yet, there is a foundation of ritual, of action and belief and commonality.  We were an odd bunch this year, and some were added at the last making our table a bit cozy, but there is always room at a seder table for one, or two, more.  If there is a place for Elijah, there is a place for another Jew in need of community.

A Note Between Friends

I'm sure you have noticed a gap in this effort. And I am sorry for it. I am sorry nobody else took up the torch. But family crisis intervened and that is what my G-d would want me to attend to. And so I did. At first I felt bad because I had failed in my committent to consistency in this effort. That, of course, is ridiculous. Tending to my father is more important. Being consistent in caring, love, work, helping my kid, feeding my family and all such things matters more than a blog, much as I love the blog. Shabbat will always come again and my absence here does not mean my absence from Shabbat. The wonderful news is that the eternal circle of the Torah will enable me always to pick up again because each Torah portion, like the seasons, comes around again. I so hope that some of you that have chosen to follow this blog (at least for its beginnings) will continue to do so. The joy is in the learning.

The Footwork Is Up To Us

This week's Torah portion is Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12-11:25). Maybe I am just tired and maybe it is actually confusing, but I found myself unable to find a focal point other than the one I will get to in a moment. The theme that struck me seemed too simple in the midst of all the erudite commentary I read. This portion is the closing scene of the people's exile in the desert. They are about to cross the Jordan and enter the promised land; enter into war to claim it. Moses is giving what has been described as the rest of his closing speech to the people; we know he will not cross over Jordan but will die in the desert because it was his generation that rebelled against G-d and was exiled to 40 years in the desert. Moses recounts the history of all that the people have endured, the hardships and slavery. Moses exhorts the people not to forget that G-d has brought them to this moment and this place, about to finally have what was promised; a land of their own and the wealth it encompasses. It is Moses' fear that self-importance and arrogance will lead the people away from the commandments, the good deeds that make life worth living. So this portion is filled with crashing oratory, the story of the golden calf and the smashing of the tablets of the commandments. It is also filled with a recounting of all that G-d commands the people to do, how they are to live. And it is filled with the premonition of violence and the people being urged forward to war. It is a complicated portion and every single commentary I read focused on something different. What came through, in the end for me, is that this portion is simply about G-d's love for us and our love for G-d. G-d brings us to time and place and what we do with it is up to us. The people were protected through all their tribulations and travels, they were give the gift of the commandments (yes he let Moses write them down again) and rules (all 600 plus) so they could know how to live, know what was good and right. That is how G-d showing love for us. How we show our love in return is to do our best to use those rules to try to live in the good, in the right. G-d brings us to time and place, but how we live is up to us. G-d loves us just as we are, the footwork of living is up to us.